All Hail the Overlords!

Well it seems I am really bad at this deadline stuff. I said I would post every Friday and I usually miss that deadline by a week or more. I never claimed I was perfect, as a matter of fact the reason I am always late has a lot to do with my lack of perfectness. (Perfectness probably isn't a real word, but it sounds  better than perfection.) Was I too busy last Friday to post? Probably not considering I don't even remember what I did last Friday after I left work. I know I was at the house and I can guess that I even had my laptop turned on and on top of my lap. Lets be honest though. How many people really turn on their computer and immediately do anything productive? If you raised your hand then I do not know why you are reading this. This is obviously not a productive way to spend your time. If you do consider this to be a productive use of your time then you either need to seek help from a mental professional or get a life. The point is I will not apologize or make lofty promises of posting exactly on time every week. As long as Facebook, RIFT, ESPN.com, and whatever other .com, .org or .anything exist, I can not be held responsible for my irresponsibility.

Well considering I cant remember what happened last week I will deal exclusively with this past week. Unless, of course, a sudden memory is triggered and I lapse into the prior week. So here's a list of this past weeks events:
Looked at that awesome house again.
Did more "work" on the Monte
Worked
Visit from the father in law
Bought a "thing"

Not necessarily in that order but damn close. The house rocks. We totally want it. I'm pretty sure if someone told my wonderful wife and I that we could have this house if one of us won a cage match against a UFC fighter, my wife would obliterate him. Seriously, she wants the house that bad. Betting against her in any competition in which the house was the prize for winning would be ill advised.

As far as the Monte goes well ummm yea. It goes slow and I'm pretty sure the neighborhood has placed odds on whether I can figure out how to put all that stuff back in it. Honestly I have my doubts. I figure anything that doesn't make it back into the car was just extra anyway.

Is there anything I really need to say about work? I know I know I should just be happy to have a job at all and I shouldn't complain because I do get paid fairly well. However, it does not make it not suck. I think it's best defined by the shirts we were given this week. On the back of the shirt it says "Serving the Guard that Guards Our Nation". Apparently not only is the Army National Guard our customer but also our overlords. I think next week we get to sacrifice a goat and leave it in a helicopter as a sacrifice to our them.

My wonderful wife's father came to visit. It was good to see him, he doesn't visit enough. That's probably better than over doing it I guess. What? You expected some kind of sarcasm or snide remark? Not my fault it was a nice visit.

What is this "thing" I speak of? For years I have been looking for something to put our TV on. I could see it in my head but could not describe it. Not an entertainment center, I think those things are obnoxious. Not a TV stand. I have no real issue with TV stands, I just had it in my head that something far cooler existed somewhere in the universe. Lat week I found it. We were in one of those RestoreIt stores that Habitat for Humanity has, and sitting there, way in the back was the "thing" I had been searching for. I said to my wonderful wife, "That's it! That's the "thing"!" Now, I'm not sure which part is stranger, that i expected her to know what I meant by "thing" or that she immediately knew what "thing" was in reference to. Anyway we paid for it and agreed to pick it up later in the week. (The previous events happened last Saturday)

Well today we decided to go pick the "thing"up. We got it loaded in the truck, all tied down nice and snug and began our journey home. Happy with our new purchase and full of smiles. Well the "thing" has drawers. And as I learned today it is very important to ensure that the drawers are secure. I did not do this. About a half mile down the road I heard a strange noise. I even said "Did you hear that? It was a weird noise." The weird noise was the top drawer flying out of the "thing" and smashing into the ground. Fortunately we were able to recover all the pieces and I now have a nice project to occupy my time this weekend.

So remember my wonderful wife is willing to fight to the death for a house, anything left out is extra, swear allegiance to your overlords, enjoy time with your family, and make sure your drawers are tight.

OK OK... So I missed another week. The last couple of weeks have been a little crazy. It was the end of the spring semester at school and if work were a person it would be locked away in a mental hospital for severe psychotic behavior. I would go into it more, but I honestly don't think anyone would believe me. From the workplace harassment cover ups, the massive ripoff to taxpayers the entire place is, to the never ending saga of the broken toilets. Each one of these has at least a blogs worth of material to write about. I have, at the advice of my wonderful wife, chosen to avoid any topics that involve work. Partly because we don't want me to get fired. Partly because I already take a crap load of medication just to get through a day at that place so I do not need to relive it at home.

This semester ended well. By well I mean it's over. I took two classes, AC/DC Circuits and Systems and Precalculous. Did you know Precalculus was a foreign language? This surprised me because it was listed as a math class when I registered. Two nights a week for fifteen weeks I sat there and desperately tried to follow along. My professor was engaging and full of energy. She wrote everything clearly so we could all easily take notes. I didn't understand a single word she said. Other people in the class could speak this language quite fluently. It was extremely fascinating watching the interaction, kind of like watching a foreign culture as an anthropologist. Except I'm not an anthropologist so it didn't help.

OK so I missed a week. The family and I went to New Jersey to visit my wonderful wife's father and grandfather and the hotel we stayed at had lousy Internet. Shocking that the luxurious Sea Foam Motel would have crappy wifi. Our room did have the wonderful aroma of  Lysol and mildew. A smell that says, "Yea we're dirty but we sprayed some stuff".  If you are recently divorced, depressed, alcoholic, drug dependant, or any combination of these then I highly recommend this place. Otherwise, my recommendation is to find other accommodations.

We did enjoy the weekend. I'm even fairly sure my wonderful wife's grandfather almost, sort of started to like me. He's one of those old guys who has worked hard for everything he has. He raised his kids on his own, ran his own business, made himself a pillar in his community, and is a lethal card player. Mind you this man is eighty-six and the only thing he doesn't still do is raise his kids.... sort of. Actually I'm pretty sure he stills does that too. I'm thirty-seven and struggle playing solitaire. The man is a little on the intimidating side. but that's OK he's earned it. I figure another 30-40 years of solid progress and he may even smile in my direction.

It's probably the same for anyone when dealing with the in-laws. As secure as we all pretend to be, the need for approval is hard to suppress. One of the ways we show we care is by seeking the approval of our significant others family. Not necessarily every single one them, but at least the ones that are important to our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends (or whatever the proper term is today). I mean I don't need my wife's third cousin twice removed cousin on her mothers sides approval but her the ones that are important to her are important to me. She would say this is a silly idea. I guess a shorter way of saying this is it's important for the people she cares about to know she is happy. I'm also pretty sure if she wasn't her grandfather would beat me with a tire iron.