Letter To My Daughter

Dear Daughter,

   

                                  I remember meeting you for the first time as the nurse handed you to me moments after Mommy gave birth to you. You were so small, so new to this place that I fought and struggled in for so many years. Feelings of overwhelming joy washed over me as I thought of all the things we’d be able to share together. Showing you all the amazing things this world has to offer and how to defend yourself from all the dangers that come along with it.  I was afraid of this incredible responsibility that now sat before me. There were doubts that I would be up to the task of protecting you out in your brand new world. Fear that I wouldn’t know how to guide you through life so you’d end up happy and confident.

   Those first few years as a father were tough. Not having had a dad around when I was a kid proved to be a bigger challenge than I expected. I didn’t know how to play with a baby, or what would make you smile, or laugh. We worked together, and you taught me how to play.  I can remember the first time I made you laugh and it was the most amazing sound I had ever heard. It was genuine, a laugh born of pure joy.

   As you began school it was time to teach you the value of hard work. You had seen me work hard at my job your whole life so I felt confident that I would be able to easily reinforce all the merits of hard work. I’d tell you working hard is its own reward, even though you’d see me come home tired and depressed every day. If a person works hard, I would say, they can do anything they want, and you’ve watched me for years work at something I dislike. You hear me tell you over and over again how important it is to make sure that whatever it is in life you decide to do, make sure your happy. Unless I’m home with you and Mommy, I’m not very happy.

   As your father, I should never tell you these things if I’m not willing to live by them. Today, my dear daughter, this changes. I worked hard to earn the chance to go to school so that’s what I will do. By doing this you will be able to see a father who through hard work is happy and enjoys what he does. Today I will be the example you deserve.  

Love,

Daddy

My Thankful Fat American Ass

The holidays are upon us once again. I think that means Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. I'm not sure how Kwanza and Hanukah fit into that. Sometimes Hanukah happens before anyone even mentions the holidays. As for Kwanza, well to be honest I didn't even know it existed prior to my late teens or early twenties, so I don't think it makes the cut as one of the referenced holidays. So for my purposes I will not speak to Hanukah or Kwanza.

So for the first of the Holidays we have Thanksgiving. Great, awesome. Everyone’s thankful for what they have. Family, homes, food, fat American asses, and Indian casinos. So thank you early American settlers for not being able to maintain any semblance of civility with the native peoples here and began the systematic destruction of their language culture and history. If they had just known what god was and understood European customs before Europeans got here everything would be fine. And the land that was taken ended up getting deforested, over farmed, strip mined, or polluted. And most of the native wildlife was shot into extinction or near extinction. I'm not apologizing. Shit, my ancestors were trying to dig potatoes out of the dirt on an island in the north Atlantic, I'm just saying let’s remember our country wasn't founded without anyone gettin their hands dirty.

Am I thankful for my family, and my home, and my well-fed fat American ass? Hell yes I am. But I am everyday. Let's face it most of us on Thanksgiving are thankful for a friggin day off from our shitty thankless jobs, and guilt free allowance to eat until we pass out watching a crappy football game. And when you wake up? Desert!

Christmas.....goddamn Christmas. Ok let’s lay it out here. We know this has to do with Christians celebrating the birth of Jesus in a barn. We know that coincidentally several pagan holidays were already occurring at this time of year log before Christianity. We know that it was a common practice of the early Christian church to adopt pagan holidays as their own to help convert them. So for the sake of time let’s jump to the conclusion of this annoying and ridiculous argument and say that this is a pagan holiday that early Christians adopted into their new belief systems. To simplify, there is nothing about cutting down a fucking evergreen tree, propping it up in your living room, decorating it with shiny balls and lights, and staying up until 3 a.m. so you can stuff toys under the tree so your kids will think some fat dude in a red suit broke in to leave them there, has nothing, NOTHING to do with Jesus.

Atheists, listen....I'm one of you. But get over it. The holiday is called Christmas. It's just what it's called. Deal with it. No one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to go to a Christmas Eve mass thing with the Catholics. It's ok to call it Christmas, no one is going to think your gunning for the papacy. So lighten up. Calling it Holliday or saying Happy Holidays just for Christmas is stupid. It is not offensive.... it is the name of a holiday. The name happens to be Christmas. Live a little put on that reindeer sweater with the blinking Rudolph nose and enjoy it.

New Years. Kinda don't get this one. I mean who picked this? I end up having to work on New Year’s Eve so the odds of me staying awake until midnight are zero. It lasts for like one second anyway. And then what? Who started counting anyway? How do we even know it's the right number? And it’s based on Jesus. That seems kind of arbitrary to me. I'm pretty sure this holiday just gets credit for being among "the" holidays because of its timing. If it was in April no one would give a crap about it. Basically after all the food, gifts, family, and debt people just need a reason to either drink or sleep...... heavily.

So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, or enjoy whatever the hell else is it is you do at this time of year.

Please check out my wife's etsy site www.etsy.com/shop/ShadyFibers she is one of the best fiber artists and crafters you will ever see.

Visit willowtreepottery.us for exquisite, handcrafted pottery done right here in Connecticut.

And please support your local artists, musicians, photographers, writers, and craftspeople.

My Dog Has Gas.....

Well it's been awhile. That's all I will say on that. I think I've apologized for my absences on every single post. And, honestly, who wants to read about how horribly sorry I am for not posting. we both know that if i was really sorry I would post more often. So lets just move on.

I just rewrote this whole damn thing. I had just gone off on this really long political rant about the nature of politics in our country. It started giving me a headache so I stopped. It's too much. We all know politicians are assholes. We all know they don't give a poop about the average person. It just takes too much energy to care. If it wasn't for comedy central I probably wouldn't even know it was an election year.

My life is filled with far bigger concerns like why does my dog have such horrible gas? Why are there so many fucking ferns in my yard? Why is my car making that weird noise? And really, what in the hell does that switch by the garage do?

I imagine it's like that for most of us. And before anyone gets all crazy, yes I am grateful that I live in a place where I can worry about such trivial things. But really did someone plant one fern and it just went bat shit? Have they always been here?... I'm not fond of ferns.... Plenty of people probably love ferns, and that OK I have no problem with that. As a matter of fact if you really love them then please come take as many as you want. I would even go so far as to say that if either Obama or Romney came and got rid of every single fern on my property I would gladly vote for them.

Have a nice Memorial Day!

Far Too Long

So I'm back. Excuses would be pretty lame at this point. Basically, I thought I was to busy for my blog. That's a bunch of hooey as I'm sure you all know. The only thing i was busy with was sitting on my fat lazy ass staring at Face book. So I will quickly recap the last several months:
        1: We bought a house. (I will never buy a house again. The process is insane. If I ever need to move out of this house I will build a cardboard structure in the backyard)
        2: No more electrical engineering school. (Very sad. Turns out I don't relate well to engineering.)
  OK.... so that's it. I already stated I had been sittin on my ass staring at Face book.

   I could have turned it political and called it "Occupy My Couch". Seems to be the trendy thing to do and it's a lot warmer than a park or sidewalk. I know that sounds harsh, but if you take an honest look at the political climate in this country you just end up sitting on your couch waiting for the end. We have a congress who are hell bent on disagreeing no matter what the consequences. Which shouldn't be a surprise considering the sole purpose of professional politicians is to be reelected. A president who seems to be mailing it in. And really can you blame the guy? I'm pretty sure he's figured out that he's a one and done president. Being president actually seems like a pretty shitty job. You get blamed for decades of financial abuse, you inherit previous administrations foreign policy disasters and more people can identify who JWOWW is than can name your vice president.
   The whole damn things a mess. Rampant unemployment, wars that have gone on far to long, an education system that's turned into a joke (really? we still debate whether creationism should be taught in science class... gimme a friggin break...) Corporations that have more rights than people do. Have you seen the republican presidential hopefuls? Holy shit if that doesn't scare you into thinking about moving to Canada nothing will. I can go on and on.
   Luckily we have a rebellion happening. Wait.... actually we don't. See the problem is there is no where for it to go. It's too vague to be productive. We have become exactly what those that own us want us to be. We have convinced ourselves that we change the wrongs in this country with peaceful protests and leaderless opposition. If I were part of the ruling class i would be stoked if everyone was grouping together with no desire to force change. spray some fire hoses shoot some plastic bullets and you can keep everyone corralled in the parks. No threat no change.
  But hey who am I to judge. i don't even know which percentage I'm in. I'm not real good at math. And I really, really like my couch.
   

The Insurance Incident

I have tried to avoid talking about work in any great detail here in cyberspace. Certain aspects of my employment can be kind of touchy. For one I work in support of the Army National Guard, and any complaints or gripes could be taken as unpatriotic. I am not unpatriotic. I spent several years in the Air force and very much understand what it means to serve our country. Second, I don't wanna be a complainer. Aren't those of us with jobs just supposed to be happy we have one? This is somewhat true, I am grateful i am still employed.

The issue I will be discussing here in a minute is the most current of a long and steady line of strange policy changes and disregard for peoples dignity and self respect. What happened is not isolated to only me or my company. It is something that has been slowly over many many years been building into a crisis. That is the exorbitant cost of health insurance. Let's be real here. Many people want to blame "Obamacare". i don't even know what that statement means. It's like everyone is just supposed to know exactly what that means. If I remember correctly Our health insurance issues began long before Obamas attempt at medical reform. Others want to blame republicans because of there opposition to regulate private industry. And really who can blame them? Is it really OK to pick and choose whats OK to make a profit on? I don't think so.

The real blame lies in us. The working class that have spent far to long being grateful just to have a job. We've bought into the fear that if we speak up we will be unemployed. We've let our unions be controlled by the same bureaucratic crap that has finally, after many many years, bogged our government down into complete ineffectiveness. It is our job to regulate what our employers can and can't do, just as it is our responsibility to force those that represent us to act in our best interest as private citizens.


What happened with my company and health insurance probably isn't to different than what has happened to many people around the country. I am not egotistical enough to think that what happened where I work is isolated to just where I am employed. I am also quite sure that it is not the worst thing that has happened. you see what happened was that we had our open enrollment benefit period begin. You know that wonderful few days you company gives you to make massive life altering decisions about how much health care you are willing to do without. I will use the family "plan" as an example as that is where the main source of the problem. With the old plan a family, defined as an employee, a spouse and whatever offspring they have produced, we paid $180.00 per pay period. A pay period is two weeks, so we paid around $360.00 per month. Which really wasn't bad and we all figured there would be some kind of increase, but hey that's life. Well we definitely got an increase. That same plan that cost $180.00 every two weeks is now priced in at the extremely affordable price of.... ready for it? $420.00 every two weeks or eight hundred and fucking forty dollars a friggin month. Yes go ahead read it again that is not a typo.

From here on I am going to post the letter that I was asked to write concerning the conversation me and the company representative the company I currently work for sent. This all occurred in front of a room full of people. So luckily this guy was not only an asshole but not very well versed in current views on hostile work environments.. And yes I'm lazy and just don't feel like writing the whole thing over again. I have blocked out any names including my own.

 

From:

Date: 3 June 2011

Subject: Discussion concerning health insurance with ... during open enrollment briefing.

On 2 June 2011 at 12:15 PM, I attended an open enrollment insurance briefing with my crew and members of the services section. At this briefing we were informed that our health insurance premiums were going to increase to as much as $840.00 per month for an employee with a spouse and children. This is an increase of roughly 40 percent from what we are currently paying.

 An employee asked for an explanation as to why this increase was going to take place...., who was delivering the briefing to us, attempted to explain that this increase was unavoidable due to the increased costs of medical care and the increase in number of employees that M2 services currently has. We were not told if other avenues for health insurance were sufficiently investigated or exactly how much the company was paying into our insurance plans.

I told ... that an increase of 40 percent was impossible for a person such as me who is the soul income for a family. I told him that this would make it impossible to pay for health insurance as well as the other costs of supporting a family, such as food, rent, etc. He asked if I could live without health insurance. I told him I could not, but I also could not live without food. Mr. Johnson then informed me, in front of the group that I needed to re-prioritize my life and make some hard choices. I told him that these were not choices I could make and that it was a matter of not having the means to pay this kind of premium and pay for food for my family. He once again told me that I would have to make some hard choices.

I also expressed my concern that the disparity between what a single person has to pay and what an employee with a family has to pay gives the impression that people with single income families are not welcome here. I did not receive any response to this.

It is difficult enough for middle income families to afford all the necessities in life as it is. This 40 percent increase to $840.00 dollars a month is, in some cases, half a month’s pay. To be told that I need to re-prioritize how I take care of my family is an attack on my character. I feel this to be discriminatory towards anyone who must support a family. It is not right to tell any employee that not being able to afford a 40 percent increase in health insurance is a failing on their part. It is also the company’s responsibility to inform their employees as to exactly why such an increase is taking place.

All Hail the Overlords!

Well it seems I am really bad at this deadline stuff. I said I would post every Friday and I usually miss that deadline by a week or more. I never claimed I was perfect, as a matter of fact the reason I am always late has a lot to do with my lack of perfectness. (Perfectness probably isn't a real word, but it sounds  better than perfection.) Was I too busy last Friday to post? Probably not considering I don't even remember what I did last Friday after I left work. I know I was at the house and I can guess that I even had my laptop turned on and on top of my lap. Lets be honest though. How many people really turn on their computer and immediately do anything productive? If you raised your hand then I do not know why you are reading this. This is obviously not a productive way to spend your time. If you do consider this to be a productive use of your time then you either need to seek help from a mental professional or get a life. The point is I will not apologize or make lofty promises of posting exactly on time every week. As long as Facebook, RIFT, ESPN.com, and whatever other .com, .org or .anything exist, I can not be held responsible for my irresponsibility.

Well considering I cant remember what happened last week I will deal exclusively with this past week. Unless, of course, a sudden memory is triggered and I lapse into the prior week. So here's a list of this past weeks events:
Looked at that awesome house again.
Did more "work" on the Monte
Worked
Visit from the father in law
Bought a "thing"

Not necessarily in that order but damn close. The house rocks. We totally want it. I'm pretty sure if someone told my wonderful wife and I that we could have this house if one of us won a cage match against a UFC fighter, my wife would obliterate him. Seriously, she wants the house that bad. Betting against her in any competition in which the house was the prize for winning would be ill advised.

As far as the Monte goes well ummm yea. It goes slow and I'm pretty sure the neighborhood has placed odds on whether I can figure out how to put all that stuff back in it. Honestly I have my doubts. I figure anything that doesn't make it back into the car was just extra anyway.

Is there anything I really need to say about work? I know I know I should just be happy to have a job at all and I shouldn't complain because I do get paid fairly well. However, it does not make it not suck. I think it's best defined by the shirts we were given this week. On the back of the shirt it says "Serving the Guard that Guards Our Nation". Apparently not only is the Army National Guard our customer but also our overlords. I think next week we get to sacrifice a goat and leave it in a helicopter as a sacrifice to our them.

My wonderful wife's father came to visit. It was good to see him, he doesn't visit enough. That's probably better than over doing it I guess. What? You expected some kind of sarcasm or snide remark? Not my fault it was a nice visit.

What is this "thing" I speak of? For years I have been looking for something to put our TV on. I could see it in my head but could not describe it. Not an entertainment center, I think those things are obnoxious. Not a TV stand. I have no real issue with TV stands, I just had it in my head that something far cooler existed somewhere in the universe. Lat week I found it. We were in one of those RestoreIt stores that Habitat for Humanity has, and sitting there, way in the back was the "thing" I had been searching for. I said to my wonderful wife, "That's it! That's the "thing"!" Now, I'm not sure which part is stranger, that i expected her to know what I meant by "thing" or that she immediately knew what "thing" was in reference to. Anyway we paid for it and agreed to pick it up later in the week. (The previous events happened last Saturday)

Well today we decided to go pick the "thing"up. We got it loaded in the truck, all tied down nice and snug and began our journey home. Happy with our new purchase and full of smiles. Well the "thing" has drawers. And as I learned today it is very important to ensure that the drawers are secure. I did not do this. About a half mile down the road I heard a strange noise. I even said "Did you hear that? It was a weird noise." The weird noise was the top drawer flying out of the "thing" and smashing into the ground. Fortunately we were able to recover all the pieces and I now have a nice project to occupy my time this weekend.

So remember my wonderful wife is willing to fight to the death for a house, anything left out is extra, swear allegiance to your overlords, enjoy time with your family, and make sure your drawers are tight.

OK OK... So I missed another week. The last couple of weeks have been a little crazy. It was the end of the spring semester at school and if work were a person it would be locked away in a mental hospital for severe psychotic behavior. I would go into it more, but I honestly don't think anyone would believe me. From the workplace harassment cover ups, the massive ripoff to taxpayers the entire place is, to the never ending saga of the broken toilets. Each one of these has at least a blogs worth of material to write about. I have, at the advice of my wonderful wife, chosen to avoid any topics that involve work. Partly because we don't want me to get fired. Partly because I already take a crap load of medication just to get through a day at that place so I do not need to relive it at home.

This semester ended well. By well I mean it's over. I took two classes, AC/DC Circuits and Systems and Precalculous. Did you know Precalculus was a foreign language? This surprised me because it was listed as a math class when I registered. Two nights a week for fifteen weeks I sat there and desperately tried to follow along. My professor was engaging and full of energy. She wrote everything clearly so we could all easily take notes. I didn't understand a single word she said. Other people in the class could speak this language quite fluently. It was extremely fascinating watching the interaction, kind of like watching a foreign culture as an anthropologist. Except I'm not an anthropologist so it didn't help.